Everything with Em

A little of this, a little of that, a lot of sass

Bachelor in Paradise S9E1

  1. She killed those plants. I have a complaint.
  2. Ugh, Brayden.
  3. Of course, he’s shopping.
  4. A little bit of drama?
  5. I forgot about the videochat rose ceremony on Zach’s season.
  6. Maybe she could message him, and not just depend on him liking her photos.
  7. I’M KEN
  8. HAHAHAHA
  9. Does not look like Ken. I’m crying.
  10. Because Paradise is so much more normal than a dating app.
  11. Brookyln wasn’t wrong about Kat.
  12. So, she’s going to Paradise why?
  13. Blake’s back, again.
  14. Blake’s cats are gigantic.
  15. I hope Wells is the bartender again.
  16. Rachel looked very uncomfortable that no one else was there yet.
  17. Not her earring falling off immediately.
  18. Brookyln’s earrings keep falling off.
  19. IT’S CASHMERE
  20. Jacket guy?
  21. OH JACKET GUY
  22. I forgot about him.
  23. Kylee being labeled as hot commodity already.
  24. Aaron and Sean just died inside after seeing Brayden.
  25. And Aaron’s already upset that Kylee is talking to Brayden. It’s day one. They can talk to other people.
  26. That next best option? I don’t like that wording.
  27. But also showing Eliza after he said that was great editing.
  28. Vibe count. Hahaha
  29. Pilot Pete is back.
  30. So many vibes.
  31. And here to kill the vibes: Kat.
  32. Who is Sam?
  33. Oh, the one who left immediately on Clayton’s season. She wasn’t wrong.
  34. Will really is following a scent like it’s a pheromone.
  35. WHAT
  36. WE DON’T DO TOE SUCKING HERE
  37. First kiss goes to Olivia and Will.
  38. Not an actual Taylor Swift fan. This is so funny.
  39. Rachel, steer clear of Blake.
  40. Why, why are we so obsessed with toes?
  41. I guess Olivia is really into Will. It seemed weird after the kiss.
  42. Kylee’s face after hearing Will and Olivia kissed could have killed.
  43. Greer. That’s who that is. I couldn’t figure it out.
  44. Damn, Kylee really is going after Will already. They had one conversation and she’s going after him constantly.
  45. And Kylee gets the first date card. Oh boy.
  46. LORD OF THE EARRINGS
  47. The word of this season is “vibe.”
  48. Damn, Kylee looked straight at Olivia first before saying Will’s name.
  49. Will started that kiss with Olivia too so he should really be the one anyone is mad at.
  50. WELLS
  51. OUR PARADISE KING
  52. Olivia is not here for Kylee.
  53. I would trip and immediately fall in that water.
  54. HE FELL
  55. AND NOW HE’S SOAKED
  56. OH MY GOD
  57. I’M CRYING
  58. No one knows. Meanwhile, it’s being filmed and shown all over.
  59. NOT THE TRAUMA
  60. Brayden is going to say every color is his favorite.
  61. Beige… that’s fitting.
  62. Second kiss goes to Kat and Brayden. Not a pair I expected, but okay.
  63. SAVE THE FISH
  64. Rachel and Sean go for the third kiss.
  65. Blake and Jess coupled off too.
  66. Everyone’s kissing now.
  67. Olivia is still hung up on Will and the sucking toes thing.
  68. Stepping on toes, sucking on toes. So many toes.
  69. Look at all these people doing fire tricks and Kylee and Will aren’t paying attention at all. How rude.
  70. I want all the crab content.
  71. It’s a leaf.
  72. Will’s about to get that drink thrown on him.
  73. Exploring options still means communicating.
  74. I’m sorry, what? He said I don’t owe you a conversation…. Throw the drink at him.
  75. I’m sorry you feel disrespected…. Gaslighting words.
  76. Nothing could ruin Will’s day. Aven has to be coming.
  77. What is a scanadian?
  78. Cicada? Oh god.
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