Everything with Em

A little of this, a little of that, a lot of sass

The Bachelor S27E1 Thoughts

  1. I’m not a Zach fan, but here’s hoping it works out well for him.
  2. Zach the snack. I hate it.
  3. Jesse also doesn’t make me excited. Bring back Wells.
  4. They are really trying to make him more exciting by showing he was in a band when he was younger.
  5. Oh, hi Shawn. Never saw his season.
  6. The curls are for the girls. I hate this.
  7. I honestly don’t think anyone reacted that way, but okay producers.
  8. I forgot that Zach met a few of the women already.
  9. Zach couldn’t name the five women he met.
  10. We’ve got a single mother. Let’s go.
  11. Don’t hit that poor squirrel.
  12. Okie, I like Greer strictly for petting the dog. Nothing else.
  13. We have a rodeo racer. That is a first, I think.
  14. I did not take that much luggage when I studied abroad for four months. What is in all those suitcases?
  15. Sees trashcan. Didn’t think my ex would be here.
  16. Why do Jesse and Zach have a similar hair style?
  17. How much body glitter does she have on? There’s so much sparkle.
  18. That’s my travel story every time. Something always goes wrong.
  19. I hope the camera crew gets the rest of that champagne.
  20. Let’s down some maple syrup.
  21. Why is everyone bringing him things to drink?
  22. I’d rather people bring me snacks.
  23. Mom’s comment: he’s going to need to pee soon.
  24. He remembered Cat. Wow. He clearly watched the live show tape several times to make sure he remembered them.
  25. She’s the one who cursed on live TV. What a way to be remembered.
  26. Oh, he went right for an apology kiss for Bailey.
  27. Not the everything is bigger in Texas joke. Sigh.
  28. The joke doesn’t work when there isn’t any sun.
  29. Let’s get some music.
  30. Oh, New Orleans woman for sure.
  31. These aren’t super inventive introductions.
  32. Okie, nevermind. She licked his ear. Abort.
  33. PIG
  34. THERE IS A PIG
  35. I LOVE HENRY
  36. A pig farmer. That’s new.
  37. I would legit be way more interested in any animal brought in than the people.
  38. Was every title card getting full names? Or just Christina?
  39. We didn’t really get any super fun or unique entrances, did we?
  40. Brianna really went for the rose dress too just to rub it in a little.
  41. More complimenting each other, please.
  42. Same dress, different color.
  43. I’m glad Christina isn’t all bitchy about someone having the same dress.
  44. Give the first impression rose to the pig.
  45. We also didn’t think you’d be standing there, Zach.
  46. It’s getting Zach excited. Oof.
  47. Second kiss of the night with someone whose name I already forgot.
  48. Thank you title card. It’s Kaity.
  49. That is such a good questionnaire. Dinosaurs or dragons.
  50. He was watching House of the Dragon, wasn’t he?
  51. Third kiss. If I start taking shots for each kiss, I might die.
  52. Not a bunch of women getting on the party bus to interrupt them.
  53. Are they all getting on the bus?
  54. Not the meatballs. That is so unattractive.
  55. Zach also doesn’t know who Zach is.
  56. All right. Zach, get to changing that diaper.
  57. Kiss number four incoming.
  58. Madison is really just going to go for the kiss and make it awkward.
  59. Oh, no kiss for her.
  60. Madison is really interrupting the very next woman to get a kiss.
  61. And now she’s mad because it was a peck she basically forced on him.
  62. Bye bye, Madison.
  63. She’s really crying already. And complaining intensely. Girl, you talked to this man for five minutes.
  64. Madison, dial it all the way back please.
  65. YOU’VE KNOWN HIM FOR FIVE MINUTES
  66. Crier number two already.
  67. Too much champagne has been consumed, it seems.
  68. We’ve got some bonding between him and Charity about her work and his mom’s work. I see a good connection between them.
  69. And there’s the kiss.
  70. Kiss five? Six? I lost count already.
  71. I give up on counting kisses. Just be drunk off shots already.
  72. What did he and Greer talk about? Was she the long makeout session woman?
  73. Is Madison about to explode?
  74. Jesus. Madison, just leave. Please.
  75. So, at least three women didn’t talk to him. Probably more.
  76. Is Madison really going to go talk to him again?
  77. The amount of cringe I feel from Madison is through the roof.
  78. She just didn’t want to get rejected in front of the group. Was she actually expecting him to send her home or just trying to make it seem pitiful?
  79. Do we have to watch the awkward walk away this entire time?
  80. STOP CRYING
  81. PLEASE
  82. DON’T QUIT YOUR JOB FOR A MAN
  83. I’m just assuming, since she said she gave up her life for him.
  84. Already throwing shade at Rachel, I see.
  85. Only twenty roses? Wow. That’s a bigger cut than usual.
  86. It is even brighter than usual. How long did this all take?
  87. Christina, Charity, Bailey, Jess, Genevie, Donvia, Aly, Brookyln, Kaity, Anastasia, Gabi, Catherine, Mercedes, Brianna, Ariel, Greer, Victoria J., Kimberely, Cat all got roses. Along with one other person I didn’t catch.
  88. Everyone do some Kegels.
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