Episode 1: We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

1. One of the most vivid things I remember from this show is epic music.
2. Oh yeah, I forgot the show opens with the woman becoming pregnant and having a baby in the pool. I’m pretty sure the baby is Vanya, but I could be wrong.
3. I always wondered at the two lovebirds. Why couldn’t they be together in public? Or in general?
4. It was only a kiss, how did it end up like this?
5. Imagine suddenly becoming pregnant and giving birth out of the blue.
6. For a billionaire, I’m surprised he only got seven of the babies. Is it explained later on why he didn’t get more? Was it their powers? But that wouldn’t have been evident when they were babies.
7. Oh right. Luther was on the moon.
8. And Diego is a superhero.
9. Allison is a movie star.
10. Klaus is my favorite. He’s a mess, and I love it.
11. How does Luther have everything he needs up there? Where does his supply of oxygen come from?
12. Diego, maybe cut the ropes tying the family up.
13. Were those reporters really asking what she would wear to the funeral? Creeps.
14. Vanya is an amazing violinist.
15. I remember, Number five is missing, and Ben is dead. I’m all caught up with the kids now.
16. I was always so mad that Hargreeves treated Vanya so harshly and the backstory we get later on doesn’t excuse it.
17. Right, Vanya wrote a tell-all book about the whole thing.
18. I want to look cool wearing a monocle.
19. Why did all the kids leave him? I know why Vanya did, but I forgot why the others did. And why Luther stayed.
20. I LOVE POGO
21. It’s been 16 years since Five vanished.
22. Klaus is a wonderful character and I would watch a show just about him.
23. I still don’t care for the Allison and Luther thing. It’s creepy since they were raised as siblings.
24. Ah yes, the awkward family meeting.
25. “Stop playing tennis with Hitler.” Klaus is a one liner genius.
26. Very small law enforcement.
27. Five is also a great character.
28. Ben didn’t deserve that pain of channeling that creature.
29. Hargreeves was a dick.
30. When does Ben make his appearance?
31. HAHAHA
32. Klaus really knocked over that urn immediately.
33. The iconic scene is coming.
34. Luther really blasted that music.
35. I love Klaus dancing with the damn urn.
36. I relate to Vanya’s dancing.
37. WHAT IS THIS CRAB DANCE LUTHER IS DOING?
38. Klaus really threw the fire extinguisher at it.
39. I forgot about Dolores. Oh my god.
40. Five is such a cynic.
41. Why didn’t Five warn them about the apocalypse right away?
42. Must protect Pogo at all costs.
43. The Klaus and Five dynamic might be my favorite in this show.
44. NOT BEN’S STATUE
45. Klaus’ pink umbrella is so fitting.
46. I do appreciate Vanya getting to help with the training at least.
47. I forgot Hargreeves gave the kids tattoos. Dude was a nutjob.
48. Vanya drawing her own matching tattoo hurts my heart.
49. He was really monitoring their sleep. And he included Vanya in that one.
50. Klaus is my spirit animal.
51. Me too, Klaus. I want to see what happens.
52. I think I like Diego the least of the siblings, though Luther is a close second.
53. Right, Mom is a robot.
54. Agnes is precious. Must protect her.
55. Imagine seeing this scene. A holdup with a kid in the middle.
56. Five didn’t need his siblings. Dude could have saved the world himself.
57. This song though over a fight scene is so good.
58. Poor Agnes. Woman was just doing her job and got stuck in that fight.
59. Diego has many brooding moments.
60. And there’s Ben.
61. I’d love a waffle.
62. Diego’s mask is so funny. Is it actually supposed to conceal his identity?
63. STOP CALLING VANYA ORDINARY
64. You know, Vanya took that better than I would.

Episode 2: Run Boy Run

1. Why did they listen to lessons on rock climbing during breakfast?
2. That wasn’t a question, Five.
3. How would Hargreeves know so much about time travel?
4. So, Five was most concerned for Vanya, then Ben, and then Hargreeves.
5. When does Five bring up Dolores?
6. Ah yes, the pills.
7. Well, hello eerie glass eye. Welcome to the party.
8. These agents are so weird and the actors do so well at portraying it.
9. Who hasn’t stayed a sketchy motel? Am I right?
10. You’d think this group would have smaller time travel things than the suitcase.
11. Don’t Diego and Detective Patch have a thing or I am remembering season 2?
12. You know, I feel like they would have Agnes talk to the detectives away from the crime scene.
13. Was Diego once a cop?
14. 9:18 is such a weird time to set an alarm.
15. Luther was on the moon for four years. His bones should be really weak by now.
16. How old is Claire?
17. Luther is really obsessed with the monocle.
18. Poor baby Klaus. I don’t like when he’s sad.
19. He really told dead Ben to drop dead.
20. Pogo knows what’s up.
21. Five may have some anger issues, just a thought.
22. Now what was Five doing in 1938?
23. Ok, Diego was thrown out of the police academy.
24. First rule about fight club, we don’t let Luther join.
25. So, Allison has a mansion probably, Diego lives in the backroom of a gym, Vanya lives in a run down apartment, and Luther lives on the moon. Klaus just lives.
26. I feel for Vanya.
27. Klaus really hid in that cabinet. And that outfit is perfect, Five. Don’t judge.
28. Not going to lie, I jumped when tow truck guy got hit.
29. Cha Cha, calm down with the electric shocks.
30. Allison’s ex-husband sucks too.
31. Allison, I get that you’re upset, but Vanya has gone through plenty herself and doesn’t need you treating her like crap.
32. Vanya wasn’t blaming anyone though.
33. I forgot that Klaus goes absolutely crazy during this scene.
34. How come the people behind Lance don’t notice anything?
35. The future eye.
36. “What about my consent, bitch?”
37. Klaus is a mood.
38. That taxi guy totally just wet himself when Five just appeared in the car.
39. Leonard gave me the creeps the moment he walked in.
40. Same Leonard, same.
41. I’m a woodworker. What a pickup line.
42. Pogo knows. He always knows.
43. They only showed one bookcase full of tapes. Wouldn’t there be so many more?
44. And there’s Delores.
45. Five, buddy, that’s a mannequin.
46. Not Queen.
47. I love the soundtrack of this show.
48. Five, Delores lost her legs.
49. You know, I don’t think Syd is okay.
50. I just noticed in the credits, they changed Elliot Page’s name to be correct. I love that.

Episode 3: Extra Ordinary

1. What happened five years ago to push Vanya into writing the book?
2. Which is worse, spandex or creepy kid masks?
3. Helen seems rather stuck-up.
4. Vanya did not need Helen to say she wasn’t special. You don’t have to be a genius at something to enjoy doing it.
5. Well, Cha-Cha just used a hair iron to cauterize her wound. Lady is crazy.
6. If that isn’t government work for you?
7. Five is really stitching up his arm by himself. Dude, you have siblings again.
8. Klaus is the definition of chaos.
9. Poor Ben. Give the man a break.
10. I think I remember who the eye belongs to. It’s interesting to watch some of this actually knowing what happens.
11. Delores and Five, the true love birds.
12. Luther, that’s not really the segway you think it was.
13. You know, using your power on your kid isn’t a good thing.
14. Vanya, no, leave Lenoard alone. Dude is a walking red flag.
15. That swordfish on the wall is ominous.
16. I get the feeling he likes ducks.
17. Did he make the violinist after seeing Vanya? Ok Quasimodo, a little creepy.
18. You know, the show is trying really hard to get us to hope for Vanya and Lenoard and I just am not here for it.
19. Wait, Allison played a lawyer in a wheelchair. I’m annoyed at that.
20. Oh, Vanya pulling out the shade.
21. Is Five hallucinating?
22. Yep.
23. Luther needs to open a company for big and tall.
24. Klaus, just seducing Delores.
25. Klaus, I would love to know about the time you waxed your ass with chocolate pudding. Please finish the story.
26. Wrong. Five has Delores too.
27. HAHAHA
28. I love Klaus so much!
29. Hazel flirting with Agnes is so cute and awkward.
30. Why does Agnes just assume it was a tattoo? It could easily have been drawn on with marker.
31. How did Diego know Mom had the monocle?
32. I love Ben saying he doesn’t agree in such a monotone voice.
33. I mean, when I’m upset, I would like cookies too.
34. Klaus playing with fire as a child is so fitting. He was chaos as a child too.
35. I really appreciate that Diego has a stutter. It definitely gives more character to him.
36. Hargreeves was an Olympian. I really need to know what sport.
37. Five, why isn’t Delores in a seat? She needs a seatbelt.
38. Klaus, hon, no drowning please.
39. Is Klaus the only one home? Dude could be relaxing in a tornado.
40. Oh, no. There’s Luther.
41. I swear, for “superheroes,” they suck at detecting suspicious activity.
42. Cha-Cha and Hazel have terrible aim.
43. They nailed the portrait of Hargreeves. I take back my previous statement.
44. It would have been so helpful if one of the kids had super hearing.
45. Yes, give me more great music!
46. The actor playing Klaus is just having a blast.
47. Hargreeves should have taught Vanya fighting skills too, at least. Made her feel at least semi-equal to the rest.
48. Here comes ape Luther. Reminds me of Professor Hulk.
49. Diego, I think Mom’s broken.
50. Does turning her off erase her personality?
51. Diego takes out his insecurities on Vanya and that’s not okay.
52. Food is important, Cha-Cha. Let the man have his comfort food.
53. Couldn’t they have let Klaus get dressed?

Episode 4: Man on the Moon

1. Seven years ago, it was just Luther left at the house.
2. Hargreeves is such a lovely piece of crap, isn’t he?
3. So, he sent Luther into a dangerous mission alone where he was exposed to dangerous chemicals and died.
4. Hargreeves then injected him with some serum that revived him and turned him half ape, sort of.
5. What a happy wakeup call for him.
6. Did any of the other siblings know how to turn Mom off or just Diego?
7. Luther was arguing to turn her off, but did he know how to?
8. Why did Hargreeves have that serum in the first place?
9. Lenoard isn’t wrong. Vanya shouldn’t have to apologize for everything or for existing.
10. Klaus cracks me up. He’s into some kinky stuff.
11. Cha-Cha is so uncomfortable with him.
12. How does Ben handle Klaus? Poor dude.
13. Diego needed a hug. That’s why he’s there.
14. Yeah, no sexism please Patch.
15. You could have let him have the coffee.
16. Why’d you have to go inside to drop off the keys, Lenoard?
17. I see dog. I want to pet dog.
18. To the lab we go.
19. Low blow Luther, low blow.
20. We all need a Pogo in our lives. He’s the only one thinking sensibly.
21. Amputee hookers?
22. Woah, let’s get them high with that special chocolate.
23. Now they’re flying high.
24. Why couldn’t they just stake out the lab instead of burning it down? Would have been an easier way to catch Five.
25. How did Cha-Cha and Hazel survive that?
26. So, they know the world is ending.
27. That must have been terrifying for a child, and Hargreeves once again wins the award for the worst father.
28. I don’t remember Ben being so cynical.
29. Wrong brother. Task failed successfully.
30. As long as Five has Delores, he’s good.
31. “Men are unredeemable shits.” Great quote.
32. There is indeed, a brother there. He’s just dead.
33. Time to pull a Diego and just steal a key.
34. Honestly, you never want to go through puberty again.
35. Lenoard used the flowers as his cover. Great cover.
36. And there go all her pills.
37. There’s a cheerleader amongst the ghosts. What did she do to get killed by those two?
38. That’s using your head, Klaus.
39. Patch, you should never go somewhere without backup. Terrible idea.
40. Klaus, why didn’t you warn her there were two?
41. But how did Cha-Cha get out there?
42. Late night bus people are something else.
43. And she just accepts it.
44. It took them that long to realize Klaus was missing too.
45. Poor Diego. First his mom, and now Patch.

Episode 5: Number Five

1. How long did it take for Five to find Delores?
2. Where was he heading anyway?
3. Also, Delores in the hat cracks me up.
4. Oh yeah. I forgot about this lady. She’s bizarre.
5. Diego, maybe you should get some info on them before you hunt them down.
6. Just do it Five. Shoot her.
7. I wonder if the Commission also watched Delores, haha.
8. Right, the changes in the timeline come from JFK not being killed. But then he was killed. Wait…
9. Oh damn, Klaus went through some shit for sure.
10. I see dog tags. He was in a war.
11. 1968. Vietnam War.
12. Junkie has a name, Klaus.
13. Allison, I also have a bad feeling.
14. You can’t blame Vanya for not trusting Allison after everything they went through. Even though Allison is correct.
15. Oh yes. Helen just stopped showing up. Totally legit. No red flags there.
16. If Klaus didn’t have enough trauma, let’s just add some more.
17. I mean, who doesn’t have a suitcase full of knives like that.
18. Oh, she’s looking for Lenoard in the papers.
19. Diego, maybe you shouldn’t leave Klaus there alone. He looks worse than usual.
20. Oh good. Diego did go in after him.
21. This guy needs to calm down. Anyone can tell Klaus is not in the right state of mind.
22. But also, “I apologize that you’re depriving some village of their idiot” is a great insult and I need to use it.
23. Agnes and Hazel are rather cute together.
24. Diego really isn’t asking about who he lost or how he lost a veteran. Okay then.
25. I really want to know how Five figured out the probabilities of those four people potentially stopping the apocalypse.
26. Luther, how dare you threaten poor, innocent Delores.
27. Vanya, we all do that. We all look up people we’re interested in.
28. Vanya, that was also a low blow. Allison is trying to help. Though it does come off rather condescending.
29. Klaus will lever listen to anyone.
30. How does Cha-Cha keep getting out without being seen?
31. Allison, this is called breaking and entering.
32. Ah yes, there’s a hint of Vanya’s power.
33. Can someone get Five some normal clothes that aren’t just Academy clothes.
34. And here comes ice cream to the rescue.
35. I love Klaus just waving as he drives by.
36. NOT THE WEEEE
37. Welcome back Handler, you creepy person.
38. Oh, a promotion at the end of the world.
39. You think Five and the Handler had something going on at one point?
40. I don’t think Delores would have been too pleased about that.
41. Five is over there playing 3D chess.
42. Yeah, Ben gets the front seat.
43. While I’m glad Vanya got first chair, I still hate Lenoard.
44. And there’s Helen, dead. What a surprise.
45. Never know what, Pogo? NEVER KNOW WHAT?
46. Also, Mom lives.