Chapter 1: Suzie, Do You Copy?

1. Are these Russians? I know the Russians play prominent roles in this season.
2. Yep, they are opening their own gate. Smart move.
3. Why did they think this was the smart thing to do?
4. That guy, I remember him. The guy with the dark, curly hair. Can’t remember his name, but I remember him.
5. You know, I think those guys are dead.
6. Killing the lead scientist seems like a stupid move.
7. El with long hair like that is so pretty.
8. Hopper is every dad when his daughter starts dating.
9. El and Mike are such lovebirds.
10. Remember when malls were busy?
11. Erica is such a great character.
12. SCOOPS AHOY
13. They really are Steve’s children.
14. Will having a bag of snacks is me.
15. I love Steve in this season. He’s so sarcastic.
16. This is where I stole the word dingus. I never used it before watching the third season when it came out.
17. And Robin is a great character. I hope the fourth season has more of her.
18. I like how Joyce doesn’t question Jonathan about Nancy sneaking out. She knows and just let it happen. she’s the cool mom.
19. They didn’t forget Dustin, I promise.
20. Nosebleed count: 1
21. HE REALLY JUST MACED LUCAS WITH HAIRSPRAY
22. Oh yeah, everything got destroyed by the mall opening.
23. The sexism at the Hawkins Post makes me so mad.
24. Fuck off men.
25. Steve’s smoothness has dropped considerably.
26. I love Robin so much.
27. I’ll set sail with you Steve.
28. Hopper, no killing your daughter’s boyfriend. We only do that if he hurts her.
29. Dustin, it’s okay. El and Mike are just smitten.
30. Why are the animals running?
31. Crap, I don’t like this. I do not need to see all these little ones exploding.
32. Billy, stop trying to get with Mrs. Wheeler.
33. It’s okay, Dustin. I know Suzie is real.
34. Nancy is not the janitor and I hate how she has to do the cleaning there.
35. You’re doing great Hopper. Now make actual sentences.
36. Mike is being a brat though.
37. Hopper does have the crazy eyes though.
38. I hate that they don’t believe Dustin. Would he lie about this?
39. Poor Will just wants to play D&D.
40. Dustin did his work so well, he picked up the Russians.
41. Mrs. Wheeler was really going to meet up with Billy.
42. And this is why we don’t speed, folks.
43. I know he doesn’t die, but if I didn’t already know that, I’d think he died.

Chapter 2: The Mall Rats

1. There’s Billy. He must really hate Hawkins now.
2. Wasn’t his car not working?
3. Insert Spiderman meme.
4. Mike is a terrible liar.
5. Yeah Mike. That is not going to go well for you.
6. Hopper, messing with your daughter’s relationship is such an infringement of privacy.
7. Hopper is the opposite of smooth.
8. Wouldn’t there be a lot of magnetic things not working?
9. Using “girl problems” to get out of work with old men always works.
10. Robin is the best. Her reaction to Dustin and Steve’s interaction is brilliant.
11. Steve is an American hero in that uniform.
12. Lucas has been dumped five times. That is impressive.
13. Poor Will. He just wants to play the game.
14. Woah, I thought he really did hit her.
15. Mr. Stark, Billy doesn’t feel too good.
16. Can I pet the rat?
17. If the event is in four days, you should have it pretty much planned, Mayor Kline.
18. The girl shopping trip with El and Max is so cute, and definitely something El needed.
19. The rat is in pain, don’t leave him to explode on his own.
20. And that’s what you do. Good job Jonathan.
21. And now the ooze is moving. Good, good.
22. This lifeguard dies, doesn’t she?
23. Mike, it’s not about the gift. It’s about what the girl will actually like.
24. Steve, your children are running amok.
25. Mike, you really are a terrible liar. And Lucas is too.
26. The lady isn’t there, Hopper. She got a bit distracted. Magnets are distracting.
27. We need to keep that curiosity door open.
28. Oh, secret Russians under the mall.
29. Poor Hopper. He’s not used to being stoodup.
30. The lifeguard just wanted to help. God Billy.

Chapter 3: The Case of the Missing Lifeguard

1. And now we are back to using the blindfold.
2. Nosebleed count: 2
3. Hopper is so happy about El having a girl over instead of Mike.
4. If I had powers like El, I feel like I would do this at sleepovers too.
5. I like how El is able to do this so easily now, compared to the first season.
6. Nosebleed count: 3
7. Will is so determined to play D&D, he even pulled out the costume.
8. Hopper is too hungover for this conversation.
9. Joyce is already gone, isn’t she?
10. You were talking to yourself. Good job Hopper.
11. Not the Cosmo magazine.
12. I hate these guys. Nancy, just leave. You don’t need to put up with that.
13. Steve, shut up. Weirdos are so much better than normal people.
14. Will wants his childhood back.
15. Nosebleed count: 4
16. RIP Bob.
17. Oh, who’s watching them? The Russians per chance?
18. He’s just a normal guy, isn’t he? Blondes with duffel bags aren’t all evil.
19. Robin is the only person with a brain cell in this group.
20. How do those newspaper guys ever get anything done?
21. Joyce wants to move, and after everything that happened there, I don’t blame her.
22. Hopper was about to explode for a second.
23. Will made that castle of his waterproof too.
24. Oh, I guess not really.
25. Growing up is really the worst. Just ask Will.
26. Did the rats get the old lady?
27. The old lady is eating the fertilizer. Lovely.
28. Hopper, you really need to check corners when you enter a room.
29. Right, the monster is controlling Billy and Heather.
30. Well, Billy is kind of second in charge compared to the monster. Heather is just a pawn.
31. That nosebleed doesn’t count since it’s a flashback.

Chapter 4: The Sauna Test

1. Yes, give El some female role models. Wonder woman is a good one to start with.
2. Is it sucking them dry or taking over their minds?
3. Dustin is always the one off doing his own thing.
4. Exactly, Steve has never won a fight.
5. That blonde reporter dude needs to go away, asap.
6. Oh, yeah. That’s Tom. He’s been taken over and is trying to make the story disappear.
7. Why would you want to work there, anyway?
8. Someone get El on a roller coaster.
9. This mayor seems like such a great person. A real politician.
10. Who do you call when it’s the police beating you up?
11. Jonathan needs to calm down. They both have issues they have to deal with, but this is not a way to discuss it.
12. Does the boss at Scoops Ahoy ever actually work there?
13. TOUCH MY BUTT, I DON’T CARE
14. Erica, calm down. You don’t need anymore free samples.
15. You can’t spell America without Erica is such a great line.
16. Joyce would do well as an investigator.
17. Nice try, Larry. Hopper isn’t letting you go that easily.
18. That’s right Mrs. Wheeler. They were shitheads at the newspaper.
19. Anyone could tell something was wrong with Billy. He’s under a blanket while being a lifeguard, for god’s sake.
20. El does what she wants.
21. Operation Child Endangerment. Erica is a treasure.
22. No Billy, no appealing to Max.
23. That nurse really didn’t care.
24. Tower of Terror time.
25. A rock really knocked him out.
26. Nope. Not the squelching sound again.
27. Nosebleed count: 5
28. Guys, you have to do something. You can’t just depend on El.
29. Thank you Mike.
30. So many mindless slaves now.

Chapter 5: The Flayed

1. Not Steve’s groin.
2. And here comes Hopper’s buddy.
3. Right. That was the scientist who was working on opening the gate.
4. Tell that to today’s policemen.
5. Dude’s a little trigger happy.
6. Joyce, you need to work on your aim.
7. For a policeman, Hopper isn’t doing too great under pressure.
8. This charades act is working so well, Joyce.
9. Alexei, aka Smirnoff, is so precious.
10. Nosebleed count: 6
11. We need Paul Blart, mall cop.
12. Erica isn’t wrong, but I wouldn’t be banging that strange liquid filled tube everywhere. It could explode.
13. No discussing the good screams.
14. Riding in the back is fun. Try riding in the back of a truck. You get all the fresh air.
15. The terminator has found the car.
16. Joyce and Hopper are acting like such high schoolers.
17. I love how the cashier doesn’t question the guy with handcuffs.
18. Alexei has found his slushie.
19. He loves them so much.
20. Hopper really stole that guy’s car with no remorse.
21. Yes, Murray is back. Love this guy.
22. Murray speaks Russian. Is anyone surprised by that fact?
23. It really is a lover’s quarrel.
24. Joyce is so done with everything.
25. Steve just did the full Tarzan yell.
26. Damn, Steve finally won a fight.
27. And Dustin pointed it out.
28. You know, I’m impressed the Russians got all this built in a year.
29. Why do they think opening the gate is a smart idea? Just why?
30. Nancy should’ve taken El or Will with her.
31. Nosebleed count: 7
32. Lucas really has to teach Mike everything. He is a hopeless person for sure.
33. Honestly, blonde dude needs a vase to the head too.
34. El and Mike are cute when they aren’t being idiots. Aka, Mike isn’t being an idiot.
35. Here’s Johnny.
36. Come on. Think Nancy. You need a plan.
37. You know Mind Flayer, when they’re all connected, they all feel the pain.
38. Crap, here we go.
39. Two squelchy messes combine into one squelchy monster.

Chapter 6: E Pluribus Unum

1. You’d think these Russians would be shooting by now.
2. And it can seep under doors. Fantastic.
3. Nosebleed count: 8
4. How lovely, it left behind a leg.
5. Glad the mayor doesn’t care about crime, and just about the fair.
6. Man, I loved that spaceship ride.
7. Alexei and his slurpee are the real couple of the show.
8. He doesn’t really look that scared, Hopper.
9. Now, he’s scared.
10. Erica is now a nerd, join us.
11. Steve can’t go a season without getting beaten up.
12. I agree Russian man. Steve needs a doctor. Just not yours.
13. Nosebleed count: 9
14. Brain damage is real, Max.
15. Aw, Mike loves her. I love how they all got quiet when he said that.
16. Let Alexei watch his cartoons, damnit.
17. Alexei’s laugh is so adorable.
18. A FAT RAMBO
19. Tell that to the scooby gang.
20. Jesus Erica. I almost threw my laptop.
21. Your other right. Oh Steve.
22. Steve “the hair” Harrington. Brilliant.
23. Robin and Steve have such a cute relationship.
24. Did you even clean that thing? Aw, Steve would do well in the covid era.
25. Nosebleed count: 10
26. Nosebleed count: 11
27. Oh, here’s the happy memories to make us feel sympathetic for Billy now.
28. There’s baby Billy.
29. Wheelbarrow lmao
30. I forgot that Steve and Robin got drugged and this is so hilarious to watch.
31. Damnit Steve.
32. Rock on Dustin! Kick some Russian butt!
33. Billy’s dad is a dick, and his mom abandoned him. It doesn’t excuse his behavior, but you can understand it.
34. Why is El alone?
35. Nope, Billy, leave her alone.
36. And here comes the flayed army.
37. Damn, the flayed even got a kid.
38. Well, now everyone flayed gets to become one with the mind flayer.

Chapter 7: The Bite

1. Is the mayor the guy from Jurassic Park? Spared no expense.
2. Billy knows where you are. I suggest you run.
3. Robin is all philosophical while on drugs.
4. Waiting for the jumpscare….
5. Waiting…
6. THERE IT IS
7. Nosebleed count: 12
8. Let them eat each other.
9. No, she’s no okay. It bit her.
10. It’s going to know where she is now.
11. Steve really just took popcorn from the trash.
12. Murray is so over the fighting.
13. Murray is so good at spotting the sexual tension.
14. I love how Alexei is just laughing at them.
15. Who was Janet again?
16. Lucas isn’t wrong. El needs backup for this fight.
17. FINALLY THEY ARE IN CONTACT AGAIN
18. Steve trying to understand Back to the Future while drugged is a sight to see.
19. That car phone is massive.
20. Of course El is in front of the eggos.
21. Nosebleed count: 13
22. Lucas is a freaking ad for coke.
23. Aw, Steve likes Robin.
24. Steve, you could have literally walked around the stall. Why did you slide on the floor?
25. This scene is done so well and I’m so glad the writers put Robin in this show.
26. And I love how Steve just accepts Robin and doesn’t question it.
27. I wonder how Dustin found them. Did he just follow the sound of laughter?
28. No, no Murray. Don’t take Alexei. I remember what happens.
29. Murray isn’t wrong about America.
30. DON’T LEAVE ALEXEI ALONE
31. Alexei is so happy about winning a game and getting a prize. And it hurts my heart.
32. LEAVE ALEXEI ALONE
33. HE JUST WANTED WOODY WOODPECKER
34. How did no one else see him bleeding?
35. Alexei died alone, without his woodpecker friend. I hate that terminator Russian.
36. PUNCH HIM JOYCE
37. YES QUEEN
38. Bye bye Mr. Terminator.
39. Damnit, of course he had a bullet proof vest.
40. El to the rescue!
41. Nosebleed count: 14
42. Part of the mind flayer is in her leg. What a great feeling.

Chapter 8: The Battle of Starcourt

1. You have to cut it out, Jonathan.
2. GET IT JONATHAN
3. Good man Hopper. Kill that little creep.
4. Group hug time.
5. Time for Dustin to shine.
6. OH MY GOD I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS
7. Daddy Steve is here.
8. This hug hurts.
9. For some reason, I forgot about Billy.
10. Well, Murray, that didn’t work.
11. Lieutenant Molotov at your service.
12. El, baby, don’t overexert yourself.
13. Nosebleed count: 15
14. Bald eagle. Poor Murray.
15. The mind flayer took her powers, right?
16. The mind flayer wants to do some shopping.
17. Look at that Hopper, you have a date.
18. I don’t think they copy, Dustin.
19. A rather big problem.
20. When sneaking away, don’t break something. It generally alerts people.
21. Yeah, Murray. Break everything.
22. Smart Lucas. You did good. Now, where are those fireworks?
23. Just smile and nod.
24. Here comes the best part ever, and the most random part.
25. STEVE TO THE RESCUE
26. Yes, good, good. Lure the mind flayer away.
27. SUZIE
28. Suzie is a cutie, I hope we see her next season.
29. YES
30. THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING
31. NEVERENDING STORY!!!
32. What writer thought, you know what we need? A song.
33. The best part is the reactions. Joyce is hitting her head on the wall and Hopper is questioning everything.
34. That scene brings tears to my eyes from laughter. First time I saw it, I was dying, and I’m still dying. Such a good scene.
35. I hope Dustin makes it up to Suzie.
36. Billy, no hitting your sister, or El, or Mike.
37. Damn it terminator man. Does he ever die?
38. GET AWAY FROM HER BILLY
39. YES FIREWORKS
40. The fact that El beats Billy without her powers shows how strong she really is.
41. Finally, the terminator is dead.
42. Billy does get to redeem himself here. He was still a dick but he does save El.
43. HOPPER, I CRIED SO HARD THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED THIS
44. DON’T MAKE ME SAD
45. WHAT DID I SAY, HOPPER? WHAT DID I SAY?
46. But, you see, no body, no death. TV rules. Never believe a death until you see the body.
47. I’m sure Billy was a good brother to Max at some point in time. I hope next season shows us some of that. All we ever saw was him being mean to her.
48. Damn army. About time they get there.
49. I forgot about the Doc.
50. How did the Russians get away though?
51. Oh, El. She’s looking for Hopper, and it hurts my heart.
52. El’s reaction is what really gets me.
53. Not the rise in satanism.
54. Keith works there too. He’s everywhere.
55. I love how Robin just refers to him as dingus.
56. The damn cheetos again.
57. The Byers are moving.
58. NEVERENDING STORY
59. I really hope Jonathan and Nancy are still together in the next season.
60. Mike has stopped working.
61. Damnit, I started tearing up before she even started reading the letter.
62. I know he’s alive, and I’m still crying. God, this show.
63. Hopper, why do you hurt me so?
64. I wonder how far away they are moving.
65. I like how Erica gets the D&D stuff.
66. Those three inches, god. I need a tissue.
67. And there’s the Russians. And they have an American. And now we know it’s Hopper.
68. What are they doing with that prisoner?
69. Food for the demogorgon, right?
70. Nom nom, dinner is served.

This season was probably my favorite, mainly because the additional characters made it so much better. I’m so glad they brought Murray back and paired him with Alexei. I’m still angry they killed Alexei off. He was a treasure. And whoever decided the show needed more badass females, I applaud them. Robin and Steve’s dynamic was one of the best things added to the show. Erica was hysterical. And Joyce and Hopper’s bickering was adorable.

We all know Hopper is alive. I’m curious whether the people in charge of making the trailer decided to show Hopper because everyone assumed he was alive anyway.

I’m so excited for the next season. See y’all soon.