1. Day two of bachelor content this week and I’m not ready, but I’m also ready. You get me?
2. Mom: “This is what you get for falling in love with three women you bone-headed ass.”
3. Iceland is so pretty. I want to go.
4. Me: sees window. Also me: jump Clayton.
5. You’re from Missouri. You’re all about walls.
6. Whichever producer or intern determined the top 3 have to stay together in a hotel still deserves a raise, and probably a spot in hell.
7. Definitely thought that was Clayton walking in and not his clone.
8. I still forget Rachel exists. She has made no impression on me. Neither has Clayton. They fit together.
9. Not the awkward silence.
10. “Intimate time” – my mom gave me such a disgusted look at that line.
11. Mom: “if he is physically intimate with another woman, cut off his dick.”
12. Do they ever have any clue about the date Clayton? He’s reading straight from the Bachelor handbook.
13. Obligatory helicopter ride over pretty scenery.
14. I really would love a polar bear to come charging out of nowhere and take Clayton out.
15. Now this is something I would love to do on a date. Let’s go explore a volcano. Let’s go on real adventures.
16. You think they f*ck in a volcano?
17. Imagine if a camera person dropped the camera down there.
18. Mom chugging her water: “you’ve got to drink to endure two hours of this.”
19. I was distracted during their conversation. Anything riveting I missed?
20. Gabby, your look freezing. Pull up your damn sweater.
21. I can see him being nobody’s future husband.
22. Why does Clayton look so amazed at Rachel feeling nervous during the ceremony? How is that a shock to him?
23. Clayton is making his confession sound like a horror movie moment. Bud, stop that. I don’t care about you and even my anxiety was going crazy.
24. Someone on Twitter pointed this out, but Rachel grabs the back of his head with such a claw like motion and it’s unnerving.
25. That food didn’t move. Has to be fake.
26. Imagine there not being a key, and instead, a condom.
27. Him saying what she wanted to hear is not him opening up. It’s him wanting to get into her pants.
28. That cake deserves your full attention.
29. Why does the bed already look unmade? Who else gets to use the fantasy suite?
30. Whisper, whisper, whisper.
31. Falling in love, bangs, in love. I feel like that’s not how it works.
32. Damn, Clayton can’t even walk straight.
33. I’m pretty sure Rachel won’t hide what happened.
34. Gabby wants all the details, and Susie wants nothing but at the same time, she wants all the details.
35. Someone like Clayton? You mean someone with the personality of wallpaper?
36. Gabby isn’t even pretending she isn’t up for fantasy suites.
37. Did they just leave Gabby out there?
38. Oh, here comes little dick energy.
39. Gabby, those gloves are massive. I’m just imagining you making puppets out of them.
40. Why do I want that vehicle to flip so badly?
41. Gabby’s grandpa for Senior Bachelor.
42. At least Gabby is realistic with how this show works. Susie definitely isn’t.
43. Why are there so many cups on that table? I think there were six.
44. Falling in love number two.
45. I was busy making a snack. I think he said he loves her and they went off to fantasy suite land.
46. Not Susie walking down a spiral staircase while she’s spiraling.
47. Susie, I get it, but you are on the Bachelor where fantasy suites are expected to occur.
48. So, Gabby is saying Clayton is rather bland in the bedroom, just like his personality.
49. So, falling in love with Gabby but in love with Rachel.
50. Susie, you are not getting through.
51. Not Susie calling out Gabby’s bedhead in such a creepy way.
52. Oh, he’s crying before we even get to Susie’s date. This doesn’t bode well.
53. Susie is a classic overthinker.
54. Not the wind immediately being like, nope.
55. Even the weather is spiraling for Susie.
56. Why does this feel more like one of the uncomfortable one-on-one dates from earlier in the season?
57. Susie is not meant for this date.
58. You were only a little nervous? Lies.
59. She was pulling him along in the water.
60. Clayton an hour ago: I can’t keep telling the women I love them. Clayton now: I’m gonna tell her.
61. Why did I think he was going to say we’re in high school and not Iceland?
62. Susie is literally smiling through pain.
63. And there it is. Good job Clayton. You suck.
64. Susie, these are things you should talk about before fantasy suites.
65. Susie is about to bounce.
66. Honestly, I would have bounced the first day.
67. She just said like six times in one sentence and I’m in pain.
68. YOU SAID YOU ARE IN LOVE. THAT IS ONE FEELING YOU DINGUS
69. This is giving me real Cassie and Colton vibes.
70. Strong feelings is not love.
71. I’m the most in love with you? Like bro? What does that mean?
72. Clayton, you literally just said if Susie said no touching other women, you wouldn’t have jumped into bed with them. Dude, you were so ready for the bedroom.
73. Clayton has now reached the begging stage.
74. Notice how he avoided saying he was in love with them to Susie.
75. OH HE ADMITTED IT
76. HOT DAMN
77. Susie, you really don’t get the premise of the show.
78. Thank you, Clayton, for actually pointing out that she didn’t tell you her feelings either.
79. Communication was lacking from both of them.
80. Jesse’s face is beat red. How long did he stand out there waiting for the explosion?
81. Clayton didn’t even want to go back in and just wants her to immediately be ready to keep going.
82. Communicating. That’s how you do it better.
83. Oh wait, is he sending her home?
84. What does she want now though? She is upset at his past actions. He can’t take it back and she doesn’t want to budge.
85. Damn, he can’t even walk next to her.
86. So, does she come back to try to win him over? Because I don’t think it ends like this.
87. Spulunkering?

They were both to blame for sure. Susie should have communicated her reservations earlier, and if Clayton knew he was in love with her since Croatia, he should have acted on that and sent the others home. He really just wanted to have fantasy suites with all three women, have his cake and eat it too.