Everything with Em

A little of this, a little of that, a lot of sass

The Bachelor S26E9 Review

  1. Good news, I am not sick or injured today, so that’s a plus. And we get two days of Bachelor content this week.
  2. That might not be a plus though.
  3. I forgot tonight was the Women Tell All. Ready for the petty bullshit to come back?
  4. I’m not ready for more mentions of shrimp.
  5. I seriously keep forgetting that Jesse is the host. I was like, who is this dude walking out?
  6. I don’t remember most of the women. Cue Spongebob meme: who are you people?
  7. Damn, I forgot Serene got sent home last episode.
  8. Did Jesse say there was so much wine? Or did I mishear?
  9. Who the hell said Clayton is good at communication?
  10. Right, Claire was the one who hated Clayton. Love her lol.
  11. Cassidy and Shanae look the same, I thought they were showing Shanae early.
  12. Excuse me while I drink my entire pina colada in one go (aka Shanae is on the screen)
  13. F*CKING SHRIMPGATE
  14. Rewatching Shanae makes me hate her more. Please get her off my screen. Don’t send her to paradise. Don’t pass go.
  15. DID SOMEONE LOCK SHANAE IN A CLOSET? LMAO
  16. Nine minutes in and they are already screaming. Jesse, control this.
  17. SIERRA, F*CK HER UP
  18. Not Claire calling Clayton soft. He’s a soft saltine.
  19. Cassidy saying it’s her first time is her pitch for going to Paradise.
  20. At least Cassidy owns up to how she dates.
  21. Jesse literally just wants to watch a cat fight. He’s just letting things get out of control way too quickly.
  22. I forgot how much I love Sierra.
  23. Who is this chick talking to Cassidy? And who is the one sitting next to her? Who are you people?
  24. I forgot Cassidy coached Shanae.
  25. Jamie Lynn Spears back again.
  26. Not Genieve raising her hand lol.
  27. Jesse, sorry, Clayton, sorry, Jesse. Do your damn job.
  28. Are you wearing a diaper? What?
  29. Jesse, you do know that putting someone in the hot seat means they speak first, right? He just wanted Shanae in the center so he could be in the shot.
  30. NOT SHRIMPGATE DAMNIT
  31. I forgot Clayton’s absolute disassociation during the shrimp conversation.
  32. Shanae’s been single for five years. Wonder why.
  33. Damn, Elizabeth speaking facts.
  34. Shanae, it was a day.
  35. Sierra needs to always have the last word. Shanae didn’t even have a response.
  36. Shanae really doesn’t understand her actions have consequences. Or really anything about relationships. She’s sitting there, smiling and laughing.
  37. JESSE
  38. THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA
  39. HE WANTS A REAL CATFIGHT
  40. Yeah, I wouldn’t want to be on a date with Clayton either … oh, you meant Shanae.
  41. Shanae, girl. You have an absolute obsession with anyone who talks to you.
  42. THE SCREENSHOTS HONEY
  43. She is, indeed, a walking red flag.
  44. Stop giving Shanae any screentime. We don’t want it.
  45. No thoughts in the head, thanks Jill.
  46. Clayton is going to be destroyed. Completely.
  47. Mom: “You think Clayton will cry?”
  48. How much do you think Jesse is getting paid to sit there and question his life choices?
  49. I completely forgot about the Sarah drama.
  50. Awkward silence.
  51. MARA STOP SAYING WIFE MATERIAL
  52. So, Sarah did lie.
  53. Who the f*ck is Kira?
  54. GET SHANAE OFF MY SCREEN
  55. Why are we so obsessed with Clayton crying? I feel like I missed some of that drama, but whatever.
  56. Here comes one of the only sane women from the season, Teddi.
  57. Teddi deserves someone way better than that saltine.
  58. I completely forgot about Teddi being the obligatory virgin.
  59. Poor Teddi. She’s the first person watching her time back that has actually gotten emotional.
  60. I NEED ANSWERS TO WHY CLAYTON SENT HER HOME
  61. Teddi, girl, you are worthy of love, absolutely.
  62. PREACH GIRL
  63. Look at Jesse actually asking questions like an actual host.
  64. NOT THE BROTHER IN HER DM’S
  65. And here is our other queen, Serene.
  66. Oh, thank god, they showed us Serene’s brother again.
  67. Serene, you also deserve so much better than that saltine.
  68. Is it time to yell at Clayton now? Let me get the popcorn.
  69. Why does the woman behind Jesse look like Shanae?
  70. ARE THERE TWO OF THEM?
  71. The women do not look thrilled to see Clayton.
  72. Did… did he not fix his hair?
  73. The hardest part is watching me being a f*cking moron- Clayton probably.
  74. Thank you Sierra.
  75. So, Clayton wanted the videotapes?
  76. You are literally dodging it though.
  77. Clayton making stupid ass decisions on his own.
  78. SIERRA CALLING HIS ASS OUT AND I LOVE IT
  79. Clayton once again saying he trusted her and not the rest of the house.
  80. Genieve holding her hand up again because this is a kindergarten class.
  81. Here comes the crying crap.
  82. Yes, Jesse. Horse’s mouth.
  83. Marlena is a queen.
  84. So, Serene didn’t deserve your honesty and openness, but the next woman does. M’kay.
  85. WHO IS KIRA?
  86. Clayton has no idea who she is too.
  87. Damn, Kira shooting her shot.
  88. I live for the bloopers.
  89. Clayton, do not break the baby car.
  90. KNOCKOFF JESSE
  91. FAILED FOOTBALL PLAYERS
  92. I need more of Russell roasting everyone.
  93. Woah, are we watching some of Jesse’s season? I never saw it.
  94. Oh god, he really is Clayton.
  95. HE WAS THE ONE WHO MESSED UP THE NAMES
  96. OH MY GOD
  97. So, we just aren’t going to address Shanae’s attacks on mental health? Weird and wrong.
  98. Elizabeth deserved better. And she didn’t get to even talk to Clayton.
  99. Sierra coming for his throat.
  100. Oh damn, based on Teddi’s response, Clayton has to be single.
  101. ARMADILLO FOR BACHELOR
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