Everything with Em

A little of this, a little of that, a lot of sass

The Bachelor S26E8

  1. So, last week, I injured my finger. This week, I have a stomach flu. Yet here I am. Clearly The Bachelor is an addiction I can’t kick.
  2. Oh, yeah. It’s hometown dates time.
  3. This may be the sickness talking, but I swore that was Hannah Brown.
  4. So, Susie is from Virginia. Got it.
  5. I saw Senpai and immediately got confused with Big Sky.
  6. Susie is a blue belt. I have no clue what order the colors go in.
  7. I’m glad this isn’t another awkward yoga date.
  8. NOT THE SHRIMP
  9. And I didn’t need to know that Susie, I really didn’t.
  10. You know, I feel like this conversation should have happened before.
  11. Does Susie have any siblings? Anymore Hannah Brown clones out there?
  12. I really like her coat though.
  13. There is a sister, but she’s not a clone. Dang. There goes the idea for my TV show.
  14. I don’t know if saying it feels like a year of dating is a good sign, Clayton. My yearlong relationships were bad.
  15. Is that a record for crying? I think it is.
  16. Don’t blame dad for your tastes.
  17. The dad’s mustache is so perfect, he has to have a mustache comb.
  18. Do not refer to women as fish. Please don’t.
  19. I most look forward to the parents who really don’t give a shit. Can’t wait for them.
  20. And there’s the first avoidance of the L word.
  21. Susie’s mom is not pleased by this.
  22. Apparently, you can fall in love with three women though.
  23. Don’t marry the saltine.
  24. Why didn’t we get to see Clayton talk to the sister or friend? I feel robbed.
  25. Gabby was a cheerleader? Makes sense.
  26. I thought he pulled a joint out.
  27. Those white gloves will not be clean for long.
  28. Gabby tying Clayton’s shoes gave me strong Harry and Ginny vibes from HBP.
  29. Not Gabby bringing Clayton to proposal rock.
  30. Lol, subtle?
  31. Aunt, Uncle, cousin, and grandpa. What about your mom? Did she mention this before?
  32. Two for two, family members being sick.
  33. Is it just me, or does her aunt look like Angela from The Office?
  34. I would never say that line in front of a grandparent.
  35. Her grandpa is precious. I don’t give a damn about anything else. Mood.
  36. I’m sorry. No one in my family would ever ask if I said I love you to a guy.
  37. Julie, you are Angela. Accept it.
  38. GRANDPA IS A MOOD
  39. I’ll come back and haunt you. I am the grandpa.
  40. Tears at two of the hometowns now.
  41. This grandpa is so precious, I can’t handle it.
  42. What is going on? Did someone order domino’s?
  43. Is it an ex? Oh, wait, it’s her dad.
  44. Can that horn be any louder?
  45. Did he really need a cue card with Dad written on it? She knows who he is.
  46. He can speak right? Why is he using the cards?
  47. So, dad left the girlfriend behind, huh?
  48. He could have called, zoomed, anything.
  49. Words have weight. They weigh three pounds.
  50. Which producer told Clayton that line?
  51. I feel like there would be some trained professional up there with them.
  52. Clayton just gave me major Donkey from Shrek vibes.
  53. With those go pros on their heads, they look like aliens.
  54. I would jump. Looks fun to me. This is why I get injured so often.
  55. Can Clayton count down from three or …?
  56. Not Clayton hyping himself up like he’s a football coach.
  57. It’s not even a freefall. Boring.
  58. Clayton, stop. You were practically crying a moment ago.
  59. Ducks. I’d watch duck Bachelor.
  60. Three falling in loves now.
  61. Mom, brother, best friend. Missing dad.
  62. There’s an hour left and a date and a half. Clearly, one of these dates goes off the rails.
  63. Serene, did you introduce them to the prom date?
  64. Why did it look like Clayton was carrying a literal tree?
  65. Oh, the brother’s hot.
  66. Why does the mom look terrified? Did someone force her to be there?
  67. Right, right. She lost her cousin.
  68. Roland, you single?
  69. Here comes the avoidance again.
  70. Roland is not pleased.
  71. Crying number three.
  72. Oh, thank god. I thought she was lugging around real fireflies in that jar.
  73. Roland for bachelor. Oh god, he cries too. Someone get me his number.
  74. Clayton is giving me “thank you for sharing” vibes.
  75. I swear, I forget Rachel exists every time.
  76. Yes, reverse jump hug.
  77. Dang it, normal one.
  78. Rachel, have you been losing your voice this entire season?
  79. Is that a Game of Thrones reference?
  80. I guess not.
  81. Can I pet an alligator?
  82. Please fall in the water. Please.
  83. I forgot Clayton was from Missouri again.
  84. Pet the spider. Do it.
  85. If Clayton thinks that spider could take out Godzilla, his perception of size is even worse than the normal male.
  86. Why did I first think that was the hanging tree from The Hunger Games franchise?
  87. So, y’all were concerned about alligators a moment ago, but are jumping in the water now?
  88. Clayton looking terrified to talk to the dad.
  89. Yes, give us the bluntness.
  90. Why are they sitting like that?
  91. What’d did I miss? Had to throw up again. Someone must have mentioned shrimp.
  92. First person to mention fantasy suites. Usually happens a lot earlier.
  93. She looks like Tia.
  94. An Italian dad who doesn’t like any guy, stereotype to a T.
  95. For a second, I thought Clayton was holding the dad’s hand.
  96. The dad threatening to beat up an ex is a mood.
  97. Clayton looks truly terrified of Rachel’s dad.
  98. This dad is asking the hard questions like a real dad. Good man.
  99. Rachel’s dad isn’t really a fan of Clayton, is he?
  100. Did Clayton really expect his approval though? There has to be one family that isn’t on board, after all.
  101. There are the tears.
  102. His head is so shiny.
  103. Rachel is the one who needs those cards, huh?
  104. Clayton “thank you for sharing.”
  105. So, that wasn’t as much drama as I was expecting.
  106. The driver was like, please stop kissing.
  107. Was it just me, or did Rachel just give the evil dramatic turn away from the camera?
  108. I wonder how much time has passed since the date. Rachel’s voice is back, I think?
  109. Clayton finally admitted he’s an idiot, I mean he’s falling for all four women.
  110. Serene is rocking that dress, and I have a feeling she’s getting sent home.
  111. Gabby looks like she’s going to prom.
  112. And I called it. Serene, you deserve so much more.
  113. Also, send me Roland’s number.
  114. Serene is giving him her teacher look.
  115. He doesn’t deserve any words, Serene.
  116. Please, leave him, all of you.
  117. They showed Shanae, and I felt sick again.
  118. Gabby is into feet, confirmed.
  119. Not her calling him a hobbit.
  120. Two days next week. I’m not prepared.
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