Everything with Em

A little of this, a little of that, a lot of sass

The Bachelor S26E6 Review

  1. Here we go again. Pina Colada: check. Popcorn: check. Questioning my life choices: double check.
  2. My TV is acting up and I can’t see or hear anything.
  3. Just snippets of people crying, so a normal episode.
  4. My ABC is not working and I’m deeply annoyed. I must know the drama.
  5. Well, I’m going to review what I can see and hear, which isn’t much.
  6. Oh, I did hear Shanae lying her ass off again.
  7. Oh, ABC works now just in time to hear Shanae giving her next Oscar worthy speech.
  8. Mom: What is wrong with his face? It looks like he was hit by a truck.
  9. Shanae, I’ll give you something to cry about.
  10. CLAYTON IS AN ACTUAL IDIOT
  11. She stopped her tears immediately and Clayton still believed her.
  12. Shanae keeps lying her ass off, and I can’t believe she can even sit without one.
  13. Literally, that speech has caused me to chug half my drink. Shanae will cause my liver to die.
  14. Shanae gives me anxiety every time she opens her mouth.
  15. DID YOU JUST CALL HER AN ACTRESS?
  16. CLAYTON YOU ARE THE DUMBEST MAN ON EARTH
  17. Genevieve, girl, go home. Save yourself. Claire was right on day one.
  18. DON’T YOU DARE GIVE IT TO SHANAE
  19. I SWEAR TO GOD, BABY JESUS, AND THE HOLY GHOST
  20. THANK F*CKING GOD
  21. My liver is saved.
  22. Not all the women cheering lol
  23. Ding dong, the shrimp is dead. Brilliant!
  24. Has Shanae ever looked in the mirror?
  25. A brief sense of relief? A BRIEF SENSE OF RELIEF?
  26. We do not need another woman to step into Shanae’s place. We’ve had enough drama.
  27. Shanae will show up in the door holding a knife.
  28. I forgot all the other women. Is this Sarah?
  29. I swear, I don’t remember who anyone is anymore.
  30. Rachel, that’s who. I need nametags on everyone.
  31. Is Rachel one of the three he’s intimate with?
  32. Are the producers trying to place Mara as the new villain?
  33. Her outfit is fire though.
  34. Mara will be back to steal him, I’m sure.
  35. Oh, I was wrong. Take a shot, I guess.
  36. Mara will either get the last rose or nothing.
  37. Every cocktail party, I feel like that spongebob meme of patrick screaming who are you people.
  38. You don’t leave with a rose. You stay with a rose. Come on Mara.
  39. You really sent Marlena home in favor of Mara? Once again, Clayton’s bad decisions continue to somehow astonish me.
  40. Hunter, that’s the one I always forget.
  41. Marlena deserves way better than Clayton anyway.
  42. You know not a single woman there knows where Croatia is.
  43. WHY DID THEY SHOW US THE FLIGHT LIKE IT WAS AN INDIANA JONES MOVIE?
  44. The dog gets a rose. That’s it. That’s the tweet.
  45. Has Teddi been on a one-on-one? I thought she had.
  46. Say wife material one more time Mara.
  47. Did they usually blur the faces of background people? For some reason, I don’t remember that happening.
  48. I have a feeling Teddi doesn’t get the rose.
  49. Is Clayton’s shirt wet, or is he just sweating profusely from the top of his body?
  50. Cat gets the rose too.
  51. I forgot Teddi was the virgin of the show. Why do the producers make it seem like such a big deal?
  52. This isn’t a bombshell and shouldn’t be.
  53. Did he really think her being a virgin would not allow him to be attracted to her?
  54. Oh, is the bombshell about never being in love?
  55. Clayton wants to pop the cherry for sure.
  56. His dick truly does the thinking for him. I love Teddi, but you can tell Clayton has only one thing on his mind all the time.
  57. Sarah does not look happy about this date. She’s already had a one-on-one, and I don’t remember anything about her.
  58. Mara, we don’t know anything about you either.
  59. He looks like a ninja?
  60. Yes, give us some feminism.
  61. No one should give me a sword, but also, please someone, give me a sword.
  62. Physical strength challenge? Marlena would slay.
  63. Little savage Susie.
  64. Another reason why I could never be on this show, I will not try this food.
  65. I hope they brush their teeth before kissing.
  66. THE EVIL SHRIMP DRAGON
  67. Mara did a little poetry slam.
  68. What did Serene do to win the true knight title? They didn’t show us much of her during the challenge.
  69. Why has Rachel just not made any impact on me?
  70. Mara, stop with the wife material. Your opinion on being a good wife is cooking, cleaning, and being good in bed. No.
  71. Mara is imploding.
  72. I’ll be mature like I always am. Girl, you are not being mature.
  73. Mara, stop trying to cause more drama. We are over it.
  74. Clayton is such an idiot. He believes everything someone tells him, and doesn’t try to figure out the reason for anything.
  75. Did Shanae pass the insanity on to Mara? She seems to believe everything she says.
  76. Rachel got the rose, and I still don’t know anything about her.
  77. Mara, just go home. Clearly, this isn’t working for either of you.
  78. Mara, do not go visit Clayton.
  79. I know the note is probably from Mara, but my mind immediately went to Shanae and I thought, this is it. This is how Clayton ends.
  80. The cat wrote the note.
  81. Susie? Woah, that was actually a surprise.
  82. Is that the first “I’m falling in love with you” this season?
  83. Wait, is Gabby on board with this?
  84. Oh yeah, Jesse is there.
  85. Why did Sarah end up with only the night portion of the date?
  86. She’s dressed to the 9’s. He’s dressed for the farm dance.
  87. Does Clayton think he’s still on a football team and everything the other women tell him are gameplays?
  88. I need Sarah’s mascara. Mine always smears.
  89. Clayton is always confused, not just at this moment.
  90. Not this man believing everything any person says, except when it was about Shanae.
  91. Mara, you still aren’t ready to get married. All you are doing is tearing others down.
  92. STOP SAYING LIKE
  93. I cannot trust this man’s judgement.
  94. Honestly, all the women should just leave and save themselves from this saltine of a human.
  95. She’s made it clear since night one, yet you believed Mara anyway? He doesn’t use his brain.
  96. Does every episode have to end with this teaser about Clayton being intimate? I don’t need that on my mind at the end of the night.
  97. Clayton is not a dancer.
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